Britain’s Scariest Classic Cars

1. Rolls-Royce and the Ghostly Fleet

Before we get to the real horror... Let's start with an iconic marque designed to sound haunted. Rolls-Royce Ghost, Wraith, and Phantom all reference the supernatural.

That's no accident. As a result of its smooth, whisper-quiet drive, the Silver Ghost began the tradition in 1906.

Traditionally, it had been said to be so silent that it was like a ghost.

Now let's talk about the horror...

2. Pure panic with the Reliant Robin

There can be no talk of scares without acknowledging the Reliant Robin. British pride and precariousness are well known characteristics of this plucky three-wheeler.

It wobbled into the hearts (and hospitals) of the British public in the 1970s because it was made of fibreglass and seemed to be missing a wheel...

We're including it here because few cars are as visually entertaining and genuinely terrifying to drive. Is it unreliable?

Make sure your will is up to date before you take a corner at speed.

What about iconic? Yes, absolutely.

3. All Aggro from the Austen Allegro?'

A special place in our scary car hall of fame belongs to the Austin Allegro. Not for its looks (although... they aren't bad either), but for what it could have been.

It promised innovation and style when it was launched by British Leyland in 1973 (need I say more?). Instead, we got square steering wheels, rattling trim, and horrible reliability.

It's our choice for peak unreliability, and we kind of like it for that. Although it was a nightmare for drivers, it's a dream for this list.

As for the ultimate horror, there was of course the Allegro Vanden Plas, complete with its huge, gothic radiator reminiscent of a Rolls-Royce!

That's so ugly that it's beautiful?

4. Speeding through the fast lane: The Jaguar XJ220

The Jaguar XJ220 was expected to be a 220mph V12 masterpiece when it was revealed. Buyers were angered when a V6 was released that cost the earth.

There were lawsuits, a crash in the market, and a reputation that still divides petrolheads.

While it looks fantastic today, the behind-the-scenes drama was the stuff of high-speed horror stories. 

Last but not least...

5. The Ford Scorpio: The Marty Feldman of luxury saloons

Now for a different kind of terror. Ford Scorpios, particularly the facelifted versions from the mid-90s, haunt design students to this day.

It looked less like a luxury saloon and more like something you'd find under your bed with those bulging frog-like headlights, the gaping grille.

As far as comfort and amenities go, it was quite nice. However, even now, the styling remains contentious.

What do you think?

Although this is by no means a definitive list of doom, it is our own, and we hope that it will inspire you to think about your own entries.

While you're at it, though, as Nick Ross used to conclude 'Crime Watch'...  ‘Please don’t have nightmares!’